Young gay experience

In the summer of 1999, when he was 15, a youth I will refer to by only his first name, Jeffrey, finally admitted to himself that he was gay. This uncovering had been coming on for some time; he had noticed that he felt no attraction to girls and that he became aroused when showering with other boys after physical learning class. But Jeffrey is a devout Southern Baptist, attending church several times each week, where, he says, the pastor seems to make a signal of condemning homosexuality. Jeffrey knew of no homosexuals in his high academy or in his small town in the heart of the South. (He asked that I withhold not only his last designate but also any other aspects of his life that might reveal his identity.) He prayed that his errant feelings were a phase. But as the truth gradually settled over him, he told me last summer during a phone conversation punctuated by nervous visits to his bedroom door to make sure no family member was listening in, he became suicidal.

“I’m a Christian – I’m like, how could God possibly undertake this to me?” he said. “My mother’s always saying, ‘It’ll be so wonderful when you meet that stunning Christian g