What is a side in gay
If you’ve been on dating or hook-up apps like Grindr or Scruff for more than a minute, then you might have advance across some cryptic language, coded and abbreviated to form the most of communicating sexual preferences. Because we all love efficiency when it comes to flirting and sex, right?
But to perceive some of these gay hieroglyphics, you may need a little help deciphering them. So, we’ve put together a list of some frequently used phrases, acronyms, and other words you might encounter on the apps.
What are you into?
Asking what a person is into, or ‘into?’ is often the first thing sent between people when negotiating sex on a hookup app. This could include any sexual positions or sexual acts you prefer and other kinks that might interest you. When people ask this question, they might offer their control “intos”, including some of the language below!
Sex positions
Assume the position! Ahem, we mean, what’s your sexual position? Some people can locate language like this limiting, as there is usually a great deal more to sex and hooking up than deciding who is going to be giving and who’s receiving during anal sex or neither. However, it’s almost always in exploit – so it’s good t
I’m gay and I’m not a top or a bottom – I’m a ‘side’
As a gay man, prying strangers and potential hook-ups alike acquire asked me one question more times than I’ve had hot dinners.
‘Top or bottom?’
Words get me out of bed in the morning, and when uttered by the right people at the right time, they’ve also been acknowledged to get me into bed.
But neither of these – top or bottom – accurately describe what I prefer to receive up to in the boudoir, so my response has always been a guarded mix of shrug and mumble.
Here’s the tea: I’m actually a ‘side’, a term coined by American psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort to depict those, like me, for whom penetrative sex – in either position – does very little.
Getting the peach involved is, quite literally, a pain in the ass, but as for the aubergine, let’s just say that hands and mouths always understand the assignment way better.
To continue the diet metaphor: if man-on-man action were a dinner party, I’d have zero interest in sitting down to a bland meal when the amuse-bouches are so good.
I confess that I indulged in a lot of sex in my 20s – penetrative sex.
It oddly took yo
After a solid five-year run in a somewhat monogam-ish relationship, I find myself emerging on the other side as a 30-year-old single guy, clueless about how to jump back into the dating game. Initially, I avoided dating apps, drowning my sorrows in Long Island iced teas, surviving emotional meltdowns at feral house parties, and well, tending to my own business solo. But with time, my heart healed, and I decided to dip my toes (and thumbs) into the online dating world.
Though I haven’t had any dates yet, I’ve explored these apps, and guess what? Not much has changed since my last dating venture. There’s still an abundance of headless torsos and greetings that march in favor they own the place. Once you log in, you’ll scroll, swipe, or heart your way through an endless parade of twinks, twunks, bears, daddies, and more! However, when it comes to selecting your preferred positions for sex – something male lover men take very seriously – the choices have always been the traditional “top,” “bottom,” or “verse.”
Then, like a beacon of curiosity, the term “side” kept popping up, catching my eye. At first, I imagined
A few years ago when I was looking into nose piercings (it wasn’t until last year that I finally worked up the nerve and got it done) I discovered multiple websites debating which was the ideal side to get it done on.
I learned that in India the left side is preferred because it supposedly makes giving birth easier. I also learned that some people consider a particular side to stand for sexuality.
Granted, there were no legitimate websites that provided me with this knowledge. My past English teachers would frown if they saw me consuming data from such unreliable sources. Still, I found many of these websites where one would ask “which side should I get my nose piercing on?” and people would battle it out in the comments claiming “Get it on the right side! If you get it on the left side, it means you’re gay!” or “No, it’s the right side that means you’re gay!”
I wasn’t too conflicted. Does the average person actuallyknow these so-called “facts” about the connection between nose piercing and sexuality? I assumed then, and still assume now, that they don’t.
A bigger issue that I had